Dear Diary,
I got home a few days ago and am really glad to be back! There was no jetlag because the flights were timed really well so I slept on the long flight to Sydney that left midnight Tuesday night and arrived in Perth about 11:30am Thursday. Where did that day and a half go!? I invested in one of those neck pillows this time and boy did it make a difference!! It's only been a few days since I got back but the whole trip already feels like a huge dream. Lots of entries to catch up on since I couldn't manage to log into my blog while I was over there. *flexes fingers*
It's great to be sleeping in my own room and in my own bed again!!! However, I really miss all the friends I made while over there. It was a great lifestyle...waking up and heading out in the morning...coming back to the hostel in the early afternoon and taking a nap. Then heading out again later. I found it true that Aussies and New Zealanders were the friendliest people I came across. The Brits were ok too but some were a bit reserved.
Now lies the huge task ahead of reconstructing my five weeks away. I guess I will break it down into the different places I was at. If anyone is interested...
UPDATE OCT 24TH '07 - I will be reconstructing my holidays on this blog not only so you can all see how much fun (and alcohol) I had, while I was away, but because I like to wander through all the mischief I got up to and remember the GOOD TIMES!
Day ZERO
Dear Diary,
Well it's Day ZERO! (Thanks Cambot)
I'm pretty much all packed up...just the last minute things like toothbrush, hair brush, etc. I'm feeling nervous yet excited. I went for a drive to the shops earlier to get some last minute items and was just enjoying the drive. I'm really going to miss the freedom of zipping around Perth in my car...window rolled all the way down with the radio blaring.
Just showed my mum my flight plan on our world globe. She's freaking out that I'm going to be all alone on the other side of the world. So am I.
Eight hours to lift off!! Or take off, rather.
'Up in the air I fly. Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom' - anyone remember this song from playschool!? =P
Well it's Day ZERO! (Thanks Cambot)
I'm pretty much all packed up...just the last minute things like toothbrush, hair brush, etc. I'm feeling nervous yet excited. I went for a drive to the shops earlier to get some last minute items and was just enjoying the drive. I'm really going to miss the freedom of zipping around Perth in my car...window rolled all the way down with the radio blaring.
Just showed my mum my flight plan on our world globe. She's freaking out that I'm going to be all alone on the other side of the world. So am I.
Eight hours to lift off!! Or take off, rather.
'Up in the air I fly. Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom' - anyone remember this song from playschool!? =P
5 Days
Dear Diary,
Well I've had a very busy 5 days off (still one more day to go!).
Wednesday: I really don't remember what I did that night! I must have had a quiet one at home with a glass of 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon Cabernet Franc Merlot - really really reaaaaaally good drop!
Thursday: Went to the Flying Pantsman (Scotsman) and it turned out to be karaoke night!! Was hilarious. Drank Stella pints.
Friday: Had a coffee date with a guy I met over rsvp.com - he turned out to be really nice and friendly. I'd really like to see him again. In the evening went to a friend's for pizza and then we all headed out to the Shed. Had an okay time but it was the band's last gig and so their third set was just all instrumentals and ballads. I took on a guy when he was making fun of one of my new friends and he backed off. I guess I can look mean and tough when I want to. I could have taken him. *flexes muscles*
Saturday (tonight): Had nothing to do since everyone had their own plans so tagged along with a heavy metal friend to crash a party in Trigg beach. Man was that a weird party!! I felt completely out of place except the Crownie in my hand. There were a couple of guys in animal suits. The girls were um...*ahem*.. We watched the first band perform in the tiny little lounge room and they were pretty good. Well at least I enjoyed it. But then there was an intermission before the next band and we went out the back. We found a balcony/tree house sorta thing that someone had built out the back and went up there and watched the crowd. I got hungry and luckily my friend was too so we headed off to KFC down the road and then couldn't be bothered returning to the party.
Sunday (well since it's now 3:00am it's today!): Going to high tea at the Hyatt with some girls from work and then to cocktails afterwards. After that who knows! I think I need to detox after this stretch of partying. All i wanna do is curl up in bed and watch tv. Or just stare at the ceiling.
Ok...I think my computer is tired now too coz it's lagging as I type. One more week of work (in biochemistry of all departments!!) and then several days to organise and finalise everything before I head off to the states. I'm feeling really nervous and excited at the same time.
Ok..bed time =)
Well I've had a very busy 5 days off (still one more day to go!).
Wednesday: I really don't remember what I did that night! I must have had a quiet one at home with a glass of 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon Cabernet Franc Merlot - really really reaaaaaally good drop!
Thursday: Went to the Flying Pantsman (Scotsman) and it turned out to be karaoke night!! Was hilarious. Drank Stella pints.
Friday: Had a coffee date with a guy I met over rsvp.com - he turned out to be really nice and friendly. I'd really like to see him again. In the evening went to a friend's for pizza and then we all headed out to the Shed. Had an okay time but it was the band's last gig and so their third set was just all instrumentals and ballads. I took on a guy when he was making fun of one of my new friends and he backed off. I guess I can look mean and tough when I want to. I could have taken him. *flexes muscles*
Saturday (tonight): Had nothing to do since everyone had their own plans so tagged along with a heavy metal friend to crash a party in Trigg beach. Man was that a weird party!! I felt completely out of place except the Crownie in my hand. There were a couple of guys in animal suits. The girls were um...*ahem*.. We watched the first band perform in the tiny little lounge room and they were pretty good. Well at least I enjoyed it. But then there was an intermission before the next band and we went out the back. We found a balcony/tree house sorta thing that someone had built out the back and went up there and watched the crowd. I got hungry and luckily my friend was too so we headed off to KFC down the road and then couldn't be bothered returning to the party.
Sunday (well since it's now 3:00am it's today!): Going to high tea at the Hyatt with some girls from work and then to cocktails afterwards. After that who knows! I think I need to detox after this stretch of partying. All i wanna do is curl up in bed and watch tv. Or just stare at the ceiling.
Ok...I think my computer is tired now too coz it's lagging as I type. One more week of work (in biochemistry of all departments!!) and then several days to organise and finalise everything before I head off to the states. I'm feeling really nervous and excited at the same time.
Ok..bed time =)
Busy Busy Bumble Bee
Dear Diary:
Went to dinner tonight with some friends. Just listening to some music and procrastinating bed time right now. I've got the suitcase out on the floor ready to be packed. Two more weeks until my long awaited holiday to the US. I have alot to do until then!
The next few days are going to be busy ones for me. Tomorrow's sorting out my tax stuff. Possibly a date in the evening! Friday I'm having a big night out with anyone and everyone. Probably heading to the Shed. There always seems to be a huge queue to get in so the band must be good! Saturday will be for recovering from the big night out and perhaps going out in the evening. Sunday I have high tea in the afternoon with some girls from work. Then cocktails afterwards. Then back to work Monday.
I'm in the mood for a tear jerker right now. I think I'll go and watch Bicentennial Man. Love that movie =).
Saz.
Went to dinner tonight with some friends. Just listening to some music and procrastinating bed time right now. I've got the suitcase out on the floor ready to be packed. Two more weeks until my long awaited holiday to the US. I have alot to do until then!
The next few days are going to be busy ones for me. Tomorrow's sorting out my tax stuff. Possibly a date in the evening! Friday I'm having a big night out with anyone and everyone. Probably heading to the Shed. There always seems to be a huge queue to get in so the band must be good! Saturday will be for recovering from the big night out and perhaps going out in the evening. Sunday I have high tea in the afternoon with some girls from work. Then cocktails afterwards. Then back to work Monday.
I'm in the mood for a tear jerker right now. I think I'll go and watch Bicentennial Man. Love that movie =).
Saz.
Time Flies!
Dear Diary,
I've been busy with work (as usual) and planning my upcoming trips. I've been caught with the travel bug!! I've always wanted to travel but before it was a question of finance. Then it became a question of time. Now it's a matter of booking flights in the spur of the moment and then planning it out thoroughly afterwards! I've got two trips this year...first to the US in August/September and then to Egypt in November with a side trip in Singapore to see family on the way back.
So...five weeks in the US. What is a girl to do!? Well Shaune and Markus are coming with me to Vegas and we are sooo wreaking havoc at the Star Trek Convention. Shaune and I are also going to spin some unbelievable yet believable yarns to the Americans about life down under. We should have Markus direct a hidden camera to capture the amazement on their faces as we tell them how our koalas get high on eucalyptus leaves and our kangaroos are known to steal purses which turn up when the rangers do their monthly pouch inspections. The guys are leaving me after Vegas...then I shall continue on to Chicago for the Star Gate Convention (whee!!), then New York New York, then on to the city of angels (Los Angeles)...then back home to Perth to my own bed! I'm a bit anxious travelling alone for most of my trip...being a helpless girl and all. But I'll be staying at hostels and hopefully hook up with some interesting and sane ppls there!
Egypt...always wanted to go there. Can't wait to ask the tourguide in my oh so serious face 'where is the star gate actually buried? Can we go see it? Do SG-1 come by this way often?'. But seriously...I'm going there to attend a Nile River Workshop that's work related so it's tax deductible!!! I found out about it at a conference weekend and then a week later I had booked my flights and was scrambling to get the finances together. Spontaneous Saz!
Well..not much has been happening other than all the planning and stressing over the finances. Still making time for friends. But they're all paired up now or gone overseas and I'm becoming the odd wheel. The odd smaller wheel. I'm looking into perhaps joining the dating scene. I dunno...I mean I can easily go and ask out any cute guy i see but I just don't have the energy to play around. I just want the perfect guy to appear (on a day that I'm having a good hair day) and for me to know he's the one and just concentrate all my energy on him rather than dispersing it in several directions going on multiple dates. Maybe I'll meet someone while I'm in the US and he'll fall in love with me and fly to Perth to find me.
Ok...time to go to bed and really dream.
I've been busy with work (as usual) and planning my upcoming trips. I've been caught with the travel bug!! I've always wanted to travel but before it was a question of finance. Then it became a question of time. Now it's a matter of booking flights in the spur of the moment and then planning it out thoroughly afterwards! I've got two trips this year...first to the US in August/September and then to Egypt in November with a side trip in Singapore to see family on the way back.
So...five weeks in the US. What is a girl to do!? Well Shaune and Markus are coming with me to Vegas and we are sooo wreaking havoc at the Star Trek Convention. Shaune and I are also going to spin some unbelievable yet believable yarns to the Americans about life down under. We should have Markus direct a hidden camera to capture the amazement on their faces as we tell them how our koalas get high on eucalyptus leaves and our kangaroos are known to steal purses which turn up when the rangers do their monthly pouch inspections. The guys are leaving me after Vegas...then I shall continue on to Chicago for the Star Gate Convention (whee!!), then New York New York, then on to the city of angels (Los Angeles)...then back home to Perth to my own bed! I'm a bit anxious travelling alone for most of my trip...being a helpless girl and all. But I'll be staying at hostels and hopefully hook up with some interesting and sane ppls there!
Egypt...always wanted to go there. Can't wait to ask the tourguide in my oh so serious face 'where is the star gate actually buried? Can we go see it? Do SG-1 come by this way often?'. But seriously...I'm going there to attend a Nile River Workshop that's work related so it's tax deductible!!! I found out about it at a conference weekend and then a week later I had booked my flights and was scrambling to get the finances together. Spontaneous Saz!
Well..not much has been happening other than all the planning and stressing over the finances. Still making time for friends. But they're all paired up now or gone overseas and I'm becoming the odd wheel. The odd smaller wheel. I'm looking into perhaps joining the dating scene. I dunno...I mean I can easily go and ask out any cute guy i see but I just don't have the energy to play around. I just want the perfect guy to appear (on a day that I'm having a good hair day) and for me to know he's the one and just concentrate all my energy on him rather than dispersing it in several directions going on multiple dates. Maybe I'll meet someone while I'm in the US and he'll fall in love with me and fly to Perth to find me.
Ok...time to go to bed and really dream.
Another New Year...
Another year...what will this year bring me? Another year of repetition, I suppose. It gets like that when you're working insane night shifts. You fall into the pattern of waking up, eating, going to work, coming home, eating, going to sleep....*RINSE AND REPEAT*.
I've just realised how emotionally detached I've become lately. I no longer have the time that I used to have to just sit and lull over things that I'm missing in life. I guess subconsciously I've been keeping myself busy to avoid having to think about these things too. But on occasions like this, I can't escape.
I've been single for almost three years now. Don't get me wrong - I love the person that I am...free spirited and independent. But I miss what I once had. Someone to confide in. Someone to wake up next to. Someone to share my thoughts and dreams with. Someone to care for. Someone to love me. Unconditionally.
At work there are several women expecting children at the moment. Just seeing them walking around pregnant makes me so envious. And then there's my sister who has a boyfriend and has no intention of ever getting married or having children. And here I am alone. The irony.
I've been dishing out relationship advice but I don't even have one of my own. I feel like everyone around me is only just beginning to experience what I've already had. And how do I tell them to just enjoy it while they can before they get down to the nitty gritty of knowing what they really want from a partner? I feel that by knowing what I want, I am closing myself off to everyone. It just feels like no one I meet (on those rare occasions) even comes close to what I am looking for. Yet I also feel that when I finally find someone, I'm going to be compromising part of myself. Being single for so long, it would no doubt take some adjusting to feel comfortable relying on someone else to carry me.
But looking at some people who have partners...I can't help but feel 'if they can find someone...why the hell can't I!???'
I can't help but feel a part of my life is missing. I feel hollow. There's part of myself that I'm unable to express. Be it cliche and all but...I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. There HAS to be someone out there for me. But how long is it going to take till I find him? No doubt I will have to find him. As with all relationships I've had, I've done the chasing. I tell myself I'll sit tight and wait for some guy to chase after me. But who am I kidding. Guys don't often know what they want. Until it's too late.
So...2006 is looking to be a fantastic year for me - keeping busy with work so that I don't delve into these depths of dispair often.
Perhaps I will hop on the subway tomorrow and find a guy smiling at me. I'll try to smile back if I'm not overcome with shyness like I usually am.
Who am I kidding. We don't have subway trains in Perth.
I've just realised how emotionally detached I've become lately. I no longer have the time that I used to have to just sit and lull over things that I'm missing in life. I guess subconsciously I've been keeping myself busy to avoid having to think about these things too. But on occasions like this, I can't escape.
I've been single for almost three years now. Don't get me wrong - I love the person that I am...free spirited and independent. But I miss what I once had. Someone to confide in. Someone to wake up next to. Someone to share my thoughts and dreams with. Someone to care for. Someone to love me. Unconditionally.
At work there are several women expecting children at the moment. Just seeing them walking around pregnant makes me so envious. And then there's my sister who has a boyfriend and has no intention of ever getting married or having children. And here I am alone. The irony.
I've been dishing out relationship advice but I don't even have one of my own. I feel like everyone around me is only just beginning to experience what I've already had. And how do I tell them to just enjoy it while they can before they get down to the nitty gritty of knowing what they really want from a partner? I feel that by knowing what I want, I am closing myself off to everyone. It just feels like no one I meet (on those rare occasions) even comes close to what I am looking for. Yet I also feel that when I finally find someone, I'm going to be compromising part of myself. Being single for so long, it would no doubt take some adjusting to feel comfortable relying on someone else to carry me.
But looking at some people who have partners...I can't help but feel 'if they can find someone...why the hell can't I!???'
I can't help but feel a part of my life is missing. I feel hollow. There's part of myself that I'm unable to express. Be it cliche and all but...I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. There HAS to be someone out there for me. But how long is it going to take till I find him? No doubt I will have to find him. As with all relationships I've had, I've done the chasing. I tell myself I'll sit tight and wait for some guy to chase after me. But who am I kidding. Guys don't often know what they want. Until it's too late.
So...2006 is looking to be a fantastic year for me - keeping busy with work so that I don't delve into these depths of dispair often.
Perhaps I will hop on the subway tomorrow and find a guy smiling at me. I'll try to smile back if I'm not overcome with shyness like I usually am.
Who am I kidding. We don't have subway trains in Perth.
Alone but not Lonely
It's been a while since I've visited this diary. Been so busy lately that I haven't had time to really feel down about anything. Had my last day of training in blood bank on Friday and from here on it's scientist work for me. At least I'll have some regularity with my work roster now. But being part time, it's only a matter of time before I get rostered on for extra shifts - what with every department being short staffed right now.
Made myself a steak dinner tonight (and last night was the same menu). Porterhouse medium to well covered with sliced muchrooms and pepper gravy. Served with a side of steamed green beans and baby corn, and baby roast potatoes with butter and herbs. Accompanied with half a bottle of cab sav and a toast to myself. "I may be alone, but I'm not lonely".
Or at least I try to keep telling myself that. The months and years are going by and I still am yet to find someone that gives me that warm fuzzy feeling when I see him. I just don't see myself realistically finding anyone. Even if I did, he wouldn't know the real me. I've been through so much in my life - how can someone know who I am if he only sees me now that I've conquered all those hard times in my life? He will only see the person i am now, and not the person who I've become. And the same the other way around. How will I know the person that he really is and not the person whom he wants me to know him as? Being single so long has let me have lots of time to think about things like this. It just makes me wonder whether I will be able to connect with someone that deeply ever again. Will I meet someone who makes me want to know everything about him? Friends can't fill this void in my life. For the past few years I've come to feel that there isn't going to be someone who can.
People aren't perfect. But how will I know whether I'm compromising myself and settling for something less than what i want or expecting too much and not giving someone a chance? AARGH too much to think about!
Bed time.
Made myself a steak dinner tonight (and last night was the same menu). Porterhouse medium to well covered with sliced muchrooms and pepper gravy. Served with a side of steamed green beans and baby corn, and baby roast potatoes with butter and herbs. Accompanied with half a bottle of cab sav and a toast to myself. "I may be alone, but I'm not lonely".
Or at least I try to keep telling myself that. The months and years are going by and I still am yet to find someone that gives me that warm fuzzy feeling when I see him. I just don't see myself realistically finding anyone. Even if I did, he wouldn't know the real me. I've been through so much in my life - how can someone know who I am if he only sees me now that I've conquered all those hard times in my life? He will only see the person i am now, and not the person who I've become. And the same the other way around. How will I know the person that he really is and not the person whom he wants me to know him as? Being single so long has let me have lots of time to think about things like this. It just makes me wonder whether I will be able to connect with someone that deeply ever again. Will I meet someone who makes me want to know everything about him? Friends can't fill this void in my life. For the past few years I've come to feel that there isn't going to be someone who can.
People aren't perfect. But how will I know whether I'm compromising myself and settling for something less than what i want or expecting too much and not giving someone a chance? AARGH too much to think about!
Bed time.
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